


love just be like that sometimes

by evaneddie



Series: dhylen writes one shots [26]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M, This isn't tumblr, buck has a bad shift and eddie isn't there to help him relax and feel better, seriously how do u tag shit on ao3?, sick christopher, worried buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22687249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaneddie/pseuds/evaneddie
Summary: chimney forwards buck a video he captured of buck and eddie for the younger firefighter to watch over and over again any time he doesn't feel okay.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: dhylen writes one shots [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1433956
Comments: 16
Kudos: 349





	love just be like that sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a while since i have written buddie, due to health issues and trying to work on my novel at the same time. but here's a lil thing i've been doing for my two babes that i miss so very much.  
> lemme know what y'all think.

Today has been no fun, quite possibly some of the worst calls the team has ever attended, and on top of it all, his best friend and partner wasn't by his side. Eddie had called in that morning unavailable for shift as Chris was sick and had nobody to look after him, and of course Bobby being Bobby understood immediately, giving him the leniency to have whatever time off was needed.

Buck had planned to go visit his two Diaz boys after his long hours at work, stopping by the supermarket on the way to pick up condiments to make chicken noodle soup. He's not the best at making anything fancy, but if one thing Maddie taught him as a teen stuck with him, it was how to make soup. Really freaking tasty soup, too, might he add. But before he goes there, he needs a fresh mind, something to relax him after the intenseness of the day. What better way to help him calm down from taught muscles and a tension headache than the Diaz boys themselves?

But he doesn't want them to see him stressed like this, not when his favourite kid is unwell. Chris would worry too much about him, no matter how snotty and achy he is. That's just how the boy rolls, much like his father. A worry wart. Secretly, though, Buck likes it. He loves how much they care. It makes him feel wanted, and loved.

Not in the same way Buck loves them, however. Eddie will never feel the same way about him. It had taken a while for Buck to come to terms with his feelings about his friend, to actually even realise his feelings. 

He remembers how shocking it was to see Eddie's half naked body - just his torso, but it still counts - the first time he laid eyes on him. He remembers that stupid Salt-N-Pepa song playing on a loop in his brain. Whatta man, he thinks it's called. Probably the dumbest shit he's ever experienced if he is being completely honest with himself.

He remembers how it felt to shake Eddie's hand for the first time, telling each other they can have one another's backs any day. He'd felt accomplished then, kind of flattered even. Eddie's hand was solid in his own, large and encompassing.

Every look exchanged between the two is something he always likes to remember. The way Eddie's golden eyes almost glow in the unfiltered daylight, how full of love and empathy they are for not only their found family, but for the patients they assist on the daily.

He really is too far gone.

"Buckaroo, I thought you would have left the second our shifts were over," speaks a voice as the person it belongs to descends the staircase from the kitchen area above him. It's only now as Chimney speaks that Buck realises he's been sitting in the locker room for the last fifteen minutes, contemplating how he was going to relax before going to see Eddie and Chris, and instead of figuring that out, he only made himself more tense by having once again intrusive thoughts of his feelings for the single dad.

Hen stands next to Chim at the bottom step as they both look in through the glass walls of the small room Buck has taken solace in. The seats aren't the most comfortable thing around, and he shifts slightly, feeling a pang in his lower back. Yeah, he's been hunched over in the one position for too long.

"I thought you would have taken off to see them the moment you could," suggests Hen. In any other situation, she's not wrong. Buck wants nothing more than to do so. To just be there, take care of Chris with Eddie, to help soothe Eddie's worries - because Buck knows that man, and knows he would be stressing more than ever to make sure Chris is okay and as cozy as possible when sick.

"Me too," Buck replies in a soft voice, just wanting the day to be over with. He needs sleep. 

"You okay there, man?" Chimney looks slightly worried as he speaks, and still has the signature kind glint in his eyes.

Knowing not what to say, Buck hums a low response, which wordlessly invites the two of his teammates to be seated on either side of him on the same bench seat. Hen sits to his left, and Chimney is on the right. 

Somehow, via telepathy or some shit, the both of them decide to put a hand on each of his shoulders at the same time. He smiles lightly at them. It's almost like they know exactly what's going through his head, even if he doesn't quite comprehend it himself.

"It's just been an exhaustive day, and I really wish I could have been with them instead. Poor Chris, ya know?" He sighs deeply, unsure of his words as they slip out.

"It's the flu Buck, he's gonna be okay," Hen tries. It's sweet, sure, but she can't promise him that.

"Did you know that a child with a neurological condition - such as CP - is far more likely to become violently ill and hospitalised than any other child? He's been through enough already," he rants in response, talking fast and worriedly.

He's tried not to think about that all day, shooting texts to Eddie whenever he had a spare few seconds, just to check up on them, making sure things were still going okay. Well, as okay as they can be.

Even though they attempt to hide it, his friends exchange an undecipherable glance in front of Buck's face. It's pity, and vexation. Or at least, that's what he thinks it is.

Before they can speak, Buck talks again. "After a stressful day, usually Eddie and I just chill out and talk about random shit. It helps calm me down and makes everything feel good." Honestly, he doesn't know why he's saying the words that he is, but he can't stop them.

Then, a hand lets go of his shoulder, Chimney reaching for his pocketed phone. "How about, on days you need to take a breather and Eddie isn't around, you watch this video."

As he makes a few clicks on his phone, touching the screen and scrolling for a second, Buck's phone vibrates accompanied by a sharp ding signalling an incoming text message. 

He frowns, having no idea what is happening and curious as ever. Opening the attachment, he recognises the scene on his screen immediately.

It was his first welcoming back party after the accident that crushed his leg. The first party, the one where he acquired an embolism and started coughing up blood. But this was earlier than that moment, this was the moment he walked in the front door to the Grant-Nash household with Athena and Maddie.

He watches closely as the video plays with sound, hearing everyone shout a warm welcome to him. In a flash, he gets second-hand embarrassment as he sees how dramatic his reaction was, watching his laugh and his hand clutched to his chest. But that moment is gone as the camera pans out slightly, and he notices Bobby lightly pushing Eddie towards the guest of honour.

Eddie's glee mirrors Buck's, and he appears to be as happy to see Buck as Buck was to see him. They're laughing as Buck skips to Eddie and they pull each other into a big hug, Buck's hands resting on Eddie's shoulders. Thinking back to that moment, he remembers how nice it felt to have Eddie so close to his body, to have their figures moulded together nicely. He didn't want to let go. 

Before now, Buck hadn't realised that Eddie held his hands on Buck's waist, lingering there for way longer than necessary, and it makes him feel giddy. It feels like home, and something he wants to encounter again, and again, and again, for the rest of time. On the video, they look into each other's eyes, gleaming with happiness - and love on Buck's part - and real time Buck smiles widely.

The only thing he can think of that would have made that moment better, is kissing the crap out of him. Even in front of all their friends and family, kissing Eddie for the first time would be like a dream come true.

"There's the Buckaroo smile we all know well," Hen laughs. "Seems to me like this video might come in handy."

"Love just be like that sometimes," interjects Chimney.

But if they know his secret, Eddie could easily find out. It has been like nine months since the day Eddie told him he trusted Buck the most with Chris, the day Buck realised he was falling for his best friend. Since then, he thought he was doing a pretty good job at hiding it, he was so sure that nobody would know and that he would die one day and take it to his grave.

Apparently not.

"Love?" Shakily, his voice quivers, his grip on his phone tightening just a little.

"We're not stupid, we see the way you look at him." Hen rolls her eyes at the younger firefighter, fondness washing over her features.

"The way he looks at you," Chimney adds.

Wait, what? Eddie doesn't love him the same way. That's not possible. Oh god. Maybe the way they think Eddie is looking at him isn't with love, but with knowing how Buck feels and is wondering how to let him down. He can't risk their friendship, he won't.

"Calm down kid, just breathe." Hen rubs his back in calming circles, doing her best to keep his emotions from taking over. "I think you need to talk to him."

She's right, he knows she is. He's not sure if he's willing to take that chance and make the leap, but damn it she's right. He can not keep bottling it up, because it is going to eat him alive.

"Thanks you guys," he whispers, "I love you."

"Love you too," they reply in unison.

This is going to be anxiety inducing.

So the grocery shopping trip doesn't take him too long thankfully, and he knows Eddie is getting worried as to Buck's wellbeing with how often his phone is blowing up with text messages. On the days they don't have a shift together, which in all honestly is pretty damn rare, the one working would always text the other after arriving home safely. Buck hadn't done that yet, for obvious reasons. Eddie, being the caring man he is, has worried something has happened to Buck.

There's three unread messages so far as his waiting in line at the register, not long having finished loading the small amount of items onto the conveyor belt. He smiles down at the contact photo staring up at him. It's a nice image he was able to capture of both Eddie and Chris when they were laughing hard during a zoo trip the three of them took together. They hadn't noticed he had his phone out and was snapping a candid until they heard the shutter sound, and by then it was too late. It's a beautiful picture, neither of them looking at the camera, nor posing, but genuinely happy. Those are the best types of pictures.

_**Eds:** hey, how was shift?_

**_Eds:_ ** _u okay?_

 **_Eds:_ ** _buck, where r u?_

He breathes a soft smile again, and types a quick reply.

 _**Me:** _ _at supermarket, will be home soon :)_

Home. In his mind, he knows he isn't going back to his place, he's going to surprise Eddie and Chris instead. But even with that knowledge, saying home, and heading to where those two are, it doesn't feel wrong to him. It's the one place he feels content and loved, and for lack of a better word; _home._ They are his home, and it sucks that it will never be able to be more than what it already is. But he would rather stay this way than lose them both completely because he was too selfish and wanted extra.

The cashier makes small talk with him as he gets the items scanned ready for him to pay, and though he isn't focusing on it well, he converses as best as he can. 

Before grabbing the shopping bags full of items, he decides he wants to watch the video Chimney had sent him earlier just one more time. He can feel the pure joy and energy through the screen, and he's beaming in his car like an absolute fool. It's only just starting to get dark outside now, so he illuminates the entire inside of his Jeep with the brightness coming from the handheld device.

A sharp tap on his window causes him to nearly jump out of his flesh. Dropping his phone from his hands in surprise, he winces when it bounces off his lap and clatters to the footwell below. It's a sturdy thing, but hearing that clacking has him instantly worried that it may have smashed, or at least cracked a little bit. Turning to the source of the noise, he forgets his window has been wound up and his nose painfully collides with the glass, with a decent thunk sound reverberating in the vehicle. Eddie stands on the other side, pulling at his lips with his teeth, trying not to laugh at the misfortunes of Buck. That kind of crap always seems to happen to him, especially in the presence of the man he likes.

Fuck, he sounds like a school kid thinking about their first real crush.

The expression on Eddie's face is one of sympathy, mixed precariously with delight. Buck knows, that if he were to have really hurt himself, Eddie would not be reacting the way he is. But other than a bruised nose and wounded pride, he's going to be just fine. 

"What are you doing here, Buck?" Eddie asks the moment Buck opens the door.

"Hey, I can leave if you want," he retorts, rubbing gently at the injured section of his face with his thumb and forefinger.

Eddie doesn't give him a chance to step down onto the pavement before he is moving closer to Buck, reaching his hands outward to assess the damage. His hands are warm, like always. They feather lightly under Buck's eyes and press down around the bone, moving up his face to the bridge of his nose and checking the cartilage there. "I'm not complaining, it's just a surprise."

Buck hums lowly, both out of discomfort at the slight pain it causes and at the way Eddie holds him tenderly and Buck feels the swell in his chest of adoration for the one in front of him. This is not the appropriate time to be thinking of these things, and the only way he knows how to get out of it is to crack a joke. "Of course you're not complaining, you're completely enamoured by my irresistible Evan Buckley charm."

They laugh at his words, Eddie still yet to drop his hands from where they now cup Buck's cheeks. "Ha-ha, very funny." He takes a deep breath before talking again. "Nothing seems broken, just bruised. Are you okay?"

"Fine now, your hands are magic." Holy shit. Where the hell did that come from? He can't be saying these things. Eddie is his best friend. Nothing more, and he never will be anything more, no matter how much Buck wants it.

And wow, he wants it more than anything.

"You got no idea, Buckley," he whispers, leaning in closer to Buck's ear.

Does Eddie realise the things he does to Buck when he says and does things like this? Does he notice how flushed Buck gets in the face, and how fast an erratic his heartbeat becomes? If he's doing it literally to only mess with Buck, that is such a cruel game.

"Um, I thought I would see my Diaz boys, and make the cuter one some soup. I also gold some children's cold medicine." Buck stutters with his words at first, unsure of how they feel coming off his tongue. Two can play at the teasing game. Only, to Eddie, it would most likely just be a friendly teasing. He doesn't feel the same way.

Eddie's hands fall from Buck's face, and rest sturdily on his shoulders, thumbs lightly brushing near the pulse points on Buck's neck. "Okay, first, we're your boys?"

Buck freezes. Oh, he really screwed up this time.

"Secondly," continues Eddie with a smirk, "Christopher really is the cuter one. Lastly, you are the sweetest man I have ever met, Evan."

Evan? Not Buck. Not Evan Buckley. Just Evan. Even though this has never happened before, not from Eddie, he feels like he's heard it millions of times before and it sounds so perfectly fitted for rolling off Eddie's tongue, and it feels so right. 

The video plays on a loop from its spot on the floor, and Eddie breaks eye contact with Buck, glancing down at it before letting out a loud laugh.

"Chim sent me that video too. I watch it whenever I'm not feeling too good."

Has he been wrong this entire time? Does Eddie like him back in the same way. Like Hen and Chimney said to him earlier?

"I'm going to kiss you now, Buck. Stop me if you want, I will understand."

He can't find it in him to stop his best friend from doing what he now knows the both of them have been wanting to o for a while. He lets it happen. At first, he sits still under Eddie's soft mouth, scared that if he moves, Eddie might somehow slip away from him. But as Eddie pulls back and rests his forehead on Buck's, he knows that no matter how cheesy it sounds, this is meant to be.

He captures Eddie's lips in his own, moving slowly and purposefully against the velvety texture. It's sweet and full of so much built up tension, but they don't move too fast, not wanting the moment to slip away from them.

Like a hormone filled teenager, Buck smiles widely into the kiss, and Eddie mirrors it seconds later.

Before they know it, it's over. Too quickly if you ask Buck. 

"Let's go inside and I'll help you with the soup," Eddie mumbles, grabbing hold of Buck's hand to help him out of the truck.

So, it seems that Eddie does like him back. Huh, who knew?

When he enters the house, Buck notices the television is playing an animated movie on a very low volume and the lights are dimmed down as to not make life any more uncomfortable for the sick child.

"Hey my little superman," Buck whispers as he crouches down in front of where Christopher is curled up under two blankets on the couch. 

"Bucky," replies the boy, his voice raspy and broken.

"Hey, try not to talk. I got you some medicine and your dad and I are going to make you some soup." Standing, he places a soft kiss to Christopher's forehead, and frowns at the heat he feels radiating off him. "I love you, kid."

"Love you, Buck." With that, he closes his eyes again and drifts into a light sleep as Buck walks to where Eddie stands waiting in the kitchen for him.

Things are going to be okay, because they all have each other.


End file.
